KikiI should probably mention my vision issues to my readers. I make typos here and there. I have to catch the dreaded autocorrect which I miss at times. But I also have vision loss and damage due to graves disease. And I can miss so many typos. So forgive my errors I don’t catch right away. I edit as I find them.
I do not have an editor yet. I did have one lined up but she is in the process of a move and major life changes herself. She was going to help as my long time friend who happened to be an editor. So I have the issue of catching only so many errors in self edits and some later to my embarrassment at times fixing later.
Part of it is my vision issues.
What are they you ask? I have Graves disease which was misdiagnosed. On purpose by the way. I was told I had Hashimoto’s when I had all the lab numbers of graves. I also chased serious vision issues for years and years. No one gave me proper answers.
That Hashimoto’s misdiagnosis was only a small part of my massive misdiagnosis I have mentioned briefly in previous posts. As I move along with my website it will make more sense.
As my Graves disease progressed, my vision problems simmered and progressed in the background as time went on.
I currently am diagnosed with TED (thyroid eye disease), glaucoma, and struggle through ocular pressure, optic nerve damage, double vision. Some major permanent damage.
I had serious symptoms and like the rest of my health issues they were belittled, ignored and I was told nothing is wrong.
I had lightening flashes where there was no lightening. And I was absolutely one hundred percent sure no one was on my patio taking pictures of me or stalking me through my patio window when it happened the first time. So I knew it was my vision.
I also had dry gritty eyes that always felt I had dust or something in them. They were also very red and blood shot. I wasn’t worried about the redness though and always chalked it up to allergies.
I had a weird episode where I went to an ER because my eye was seeping a tiny bit of blood along my lash line. I thought at first I had that yucky mucous in my eye that comes with allergies, and I decided to look and my lash line was seeping blood.
I have only seen one other person seeking their own blood seepage online and have since lost that bookmark. My ER doc was completely baffled telling me he was not good at rare disease. (I had many vascular and autoimmune symptoms alongside my thyroid issues.)
I appreciated the honesty and what some would call humbleness in the medical community though since it can be a rarity.
He saw my tissue was dabbed and full of tiny pin dropped sized spots of blood were clearly visible. He looked for any visible damage such as cysts or scratches but found none. But he saw extreme redness in my one eye that had the issue.
The only thing I can chalk it up to is somehow it seeped through from my back artery that may have leaked and came through out front from pressure. I have had massive embolectomy after this. And many major and minor arteries were involved. ( that embolectomy was needed sooner than it happened in spring of 2019) And I have petechia often and blood seems to leak according to my inflammation levels over the years.
This leaking episode happened in 2016. But all started with lightening appearance a few years prior.
I never got to the referral. They are notoriously bad medical system where I was. So was it lost I have no clue. The damage continued until I woke up one day unable to see properly. I saw double vision. And pain followed. Severe pain. Then much loss in actual vision.
No one cared in my other subsequent quest for answers to ongoing issues.
My eyes started to bulge incredibly bad. Though apparently they were very large before and bulging out but I never noticed. I always had large eyes so I was confused why I looked so terrible in a photo I saw of myself. But we don’t notice our own changes so easily.
An endocrinologist told me shaking his head I wouldn’t notice myself as the size progressed. Shaking his head when I said I didn’t notice. Which made me feel somewhat better about not seeing the dramatic changes myself of the physical part others saw.
Though I do see it now and understand the changes I morphed through.
Once I had the double vision I went a regular optometrist thinking I needed new prescription. And was “hoping” it was fixable. But obviously double vision is serious and an emergency. You’d think.
This woman had the nerve to tell me “everyone sees like that!”
Really lady? I have been on the planet five decades and never have seen like this. She did tell me she found old inflammation cells in my optic nerves. But wasn’t concerned at all. Of course. I was where I was…
Shaking my head…
Went to my family doctor and explained and they got me referral ASAP to a specialist. They saw my eye wasn’t moving as normal also.
And from there I got the bad news. My ocular pressure was bad as my double vision was severe. I had hospital appointments as well.
But I have terrible medical insurance and am in terrible part of world for healthcare. One of the worst in the world. And I couldn’t expect anything better.
I was given drops and told long eyelashes a side effect. I was told surgery a possibility in future but try this first. They were very concerned about my pressure and the way things looked. I was not told any of the other bad side effects. And thought to myself who can complain about eyelash growth with Graves disease hair loss another side effect I live through?
The drops of course hurt me terribly and made things much worse. I thought at first I was only progressing. I also had severe sensitivity to light more than normal. And I literally wore sunglasses when waking up in morning for at least four hours until my eyes adjusted somewhat. However, the pain never went away for a very long time. I battled pain in my eyes almost a year.
It was absolutely terrible.
My eyes felt like I had paper cuts and someone then poured in vinegar and battery acid or something. Absolutely unbearable.
I looked like a freak show with weird eyes that stared and bulged out like I was angry in a rage or something. I don’t think this was the meds but the effects of my eye disease to be specific.
I was a sad site for sore eyes. Maybe it was good thing I couldn’t see myself less two inches from my mirror.
My eyes also watered and I just couldn’t see. My vision was exceptionally blurry and in mornings I could not see anything but a blur. I could not see more than color and blobs of a person.
My child was my eyes and often came to help me find even my phone which I could not see at all once I set it down. I still have this problem but a new color phone has helped and where I place it. But I still ask my child for help to this day.
Whether reading bills or things in print which I just can’t see easily. I find that I seem to be more color blind as well. Both near and far sighted. I absolutely could not view computer screens during the beginning of this.
Still I struggle now wearing reading glasses which do not work for print and barely help with computer screens. Using them make me dizzy as well because I still have that underlying double vision and other issues.
So there you have it. I miss typos many times. 🙁
And I am just starting out so hiring an editor for smaller amounts of content isn’t an option as of yet. They would be bored and I just don’t have enough content yet. Though I plan much for this site and my readers I see it in my vision for the future.
I still have that type of vision and future planning. 😉
Just wanted to my readers know I do not try to be unprofessional nor want to look unprofessional. So have patience with me. I just can’t help myself at times because of this vision issue.
I will tell you there has been improvement and there is hope. I’m not sure if I can reverse the damage but there is hope. They say there is no such thing when damage like this has occurred. But clearly the medical community has been wrong every time with me and just because doctors say so doesn’t mean it is.
But they also say no relief without surgery many times if meds don’t work but I have had relief verbally. Not fully but miracle levels for me. Which I will touch on in another post in the near future for those with the same issues as I have.
By the way I ditched my ophthalmologist, they told me keep taking the drops even after I explained they caused so much pain and agony making worse. She insisted they worked and were making better.
She ignored the fact that a dose of predispone for something else gave me immense relief. I didn’t bother to tell her I quit the drops therefor they could not work. Because quite frankly she was so dead set on not listening to me as usual ignoring patient and facts. I was not about to help her get $500 plus per visit to harm me every couple of weeks while I struggled to find my way there, with no help tagging along a small child just to ignore me and my facts.
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